The pool was
as silent as the library
goosebumps all over me.
“ On your marks, go!!”
I dove into cold water
crowd cheering
goosebumps suddenly disappeared
so did the sick feeling
I swam as fast as I could
It felt like a lifetime.
As I speed past the crowd like a jet boat
I could see the wall
so close now.
swimming faster than ever
I hit the wall
crowd cheering louder than ever
I look back down the pool
to my amazement
everyone was still swimming
“I had won!”
hi jayden,
ReplyDeleteI like your wrighting on your poem. there is a few things you need to fix up like it says I dove in the water a dove is a bird.
Thanks for the awesome comment bryce.
ReplyDeleteHi there from Grey Main School. I would just like to say well done on the poem, it sounds great! If I was the person in the poem my favourite part would be hearing everyone cheer for me. By Kaleb P
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Kaleb that was also proubably my favorite part to.
Delete-Jayden
Hi Jayden im Declyn from Paroa school this is a really cool story you were probably thinking wow they are so slow hey next time add a bit more detail
ReplyDeleteCome check out my blog at http://paroagreydeclynk.blogspot.co.nz/
-Declyn
Hello Declyn thankyou for the blog comment next time I will add a bit more detail thanks. When I get some spare time I can check out your blog, thanks again.
DeleteJayden